Wednesday, June 12, 2013

If you asked me...

I did this post one time in France and it was really well received and therapeutic for me, so I thought I would do it again. 

If you and I were to hang out this morning and I could share what's on my heart, this is what our day would look like.  You would come in and Stella would be on my hip probably sucking on her hands and drooling all over the place.  I would ask you if you wanted anything to drink and join you on the living room floor where we could sit and talk while Stella plays on her play mat, batting at all her toys and making funny bird noises.

I would tell you that this transition has been and still IS very, very difficult.  I would probably start tearing up as I shared how I am fighting the "glass half empty" mentality every single day.  I would try to smile about living at my Mom's house and not having our own space to "nest", about sharing a car between 3 people, about how guilty we feel and how hard it is to be 29 years old with a baby and not have the means to be independent adults.  It is humbling... and humiliating...but it is where we are at right now and thank God we have family that has stepped in to help provide for us during this transitional time in our lives. I would also add in that in NO way do we regret our decision to move to France, even if we've had to "start over" as a result.  It was the best adventure and we will treasure those memories forever. 

I would light up when I talked about Stella because our girl has now been named our "Sunshine girl" because that is what she brings to life right now... Amidst disappointments, challenges, frustrations, and financial woes.  We have a healthy, BEAUTIFUL, baby girl who is just as happy as can be and we thank God every day that she cannot feel our stress and anxiety.

I would tell you that we still daydream about opening a B&B in the Hill Country right outside of Austin but that we stop there... It's not a reality. Not yet. We have to find that money tree first or at least get Logan a great job so we can start saving up.  But sometimes on long drives or walks, we daydream about it and life is lovely...

I would tell you our hearts want to be right outside of Austin amidst the lakes, wildflowers, and beautiful rolling hills. We desire that beauty...that pace of life... a place we can call uniquely OURS.

I would update you on my job and how much I love it.  I have grown from it already... I have learned to develop thick skin, been let down SEVERAL times, worked on my self confidence, and had to put myself out there in completely vulnerable situations. I have stretched and learned and benefited from it all and I am grateful.  I am grateful that we at least have 1 source of income coming in each month that will only build over time; I am grateful for the amazing girls I get to work with every day;AND I am the most grateful that I get to work from home so I can be with my precious little sunshine girl.

I would then pat my eyes dry, smile at Stella, and say "Enough about me... tell me EVERYTHING about you..."

I had a great morning with you... let's do it again soon!



  1. Hang in there girl! This transition is tough, for sure. Nearly 3 months later and we are still living out of suitcases and boxes. Definitely frustrating! Just remember, nothing is forever and it won't always be like this. You guys are doing a great job! Enjoy your time with family and precious girl. Can you believe how fast the first year is going??

  2. "The harder the journey, the sweeter the destination"...



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