We get to meet you THIS MONTH.
The carseat is installed. The nursery is in perfect order. All your tiny clothes are washed. Our hospital bags are packed. Gigi and Opa are "on call" and Pappa and Mimi will be here in a few weeks to hold the next generation.
As far as preparations go, it seems we have all our ducks in a row... but sitting here I don't even know how to prepare myself for what we have in store over the next weeks, months, years, and DECADES to come. Our lives are about to be forever altered. We find ourselves at a loss - are we ready, do we know what to do, how will this whole parenting thing look for us? I have found myself trying to envision what you will look like, what your little personality will be like, and how fun it will be to watch you grow up, walk, talk, fall in love, get married, and have your own little ones someday. It is surreal... Sometimes me and your Dad feel like we are just playing "pretend" and that it is too good to be true.
I often will waddle up to your room (VERY out of breath at 9 months pregnant I might add), sit on your floor, admire your toys, stroke your blankets, open a few of your books and try to envision adding a baby into this precious, perfect, pink nursery. What will it be like? Our house is sure to never be this quiet ever again and my sleepless nights of being uncomfortable are about to be replaced with late night feedings and bonding with my daughter.
DAUGHTER... that word still makes my eyes well up with tears.
I can read all the books, do all the research, and daydream all I want but the truth is I have no idea what to expect. All I know is that I can't wait for us to figure it out as a family of 3. You are already so unique... most likely our ONLY Little Miss Frenchy.
I am not worried about your birthday because I know you have a GREAT doctor who has taken special care of Mommy for a year now. He cares for you and your safety and health as well as mine and he even speaks ENGLISH to me- which is a real bonus! He DOES, however, need to learn that "ass" is not the proper term in English for a baby's bottom... especially a polite young lady like yourself. :) But we can forgive him for that. You will be welcomed into this world on a day of your choosing after months and months of growing, moving around, and being comfy cozy inside. I wake up every morning thinking - This could be the day! Her BIRTHDAY! - And one day here pretty soon... I am going to be right! I know I am going to miss your kicks and middle of the night wiggles, but honestly I can't wait to share you with Daddy and the rest of the world.
You are so very special. You brought us back to life after a hard loss. Thank you for being our redemption.... our silver lining... our smiles and celebrations... our miracle.
We love you Stella Rose.
Side note: When Stella McCartney launched her kids clothing line, she came out with a limited time book partnering with Roger Hargreaves all about "Little Miss Stella" - It was literally just a GWP (gift with purchase) with your clothing purchase after the launch of her children's apparel line. I have been scouring the internet for a copy of this book... If you have one or see one, will you PLEASE let me know?